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“Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her, so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life” (Prov. 31:10-12)

This scripture reveals something a husband greatly desires from his wife: a person he can fully trust. He needs to know that his wife is loyal, faithful, supportive, and protective toward him-someone who will not talk critically of him to others. He needs a true helpmate who will carry the yoke of life with him, doing him “good and not evil”.

The following are some important areas a wife must understand concerning her husband:

1. Respect and honor- “And let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Eph. 5:33).A man needs to know that his wife enjoys a reverence for him as a person as her head. This should be communicated by actions and words. Compliment him on the positive qualities of his character and leadership.

2. A Man’s Productivity- God made man’s identity to be linked to productivity. Your husband needs to feel that you appreciate his work and other areas of productivity, i.e. around the home, hobbies, spiritual labor, etc. much of this self-respect and sense of self-worth comes through his feelings of productivity.

3. His Home-His castle- The desire to provide for his family is at the base of a man’s willingness to punch the time clock day after day. His home is his castle and needs to be place where he can relax and be refreshed. Wives, be good homemakers. Make your home comfortable and attractive. Cook good meals. Do extra things to communicate your love and appreciation for your husband.

4. Male Sexuality- The sexual responsiveness of a man’s wife can do much to affect his male identity. Frequent turn-off and coldness at bedtime can be devastating to this area of male identity and need. A wife must understand this need in her husband and through her response, communicate her love and desire for him.

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